As surely as a carton of milk couldn’t play soccer because it lacked toes and as definite as an outcast tub of butter lives a life in the margarines; dad jokes are the epitome of humor so dry and indifferent to whether or not anyone actually laughs they’ve become a cultural meme through sheer force of will. And no dad on this planet is above them. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Ryan Reynolds, an Elon Musk or a Mick Jagger, you will, by some strange divine law, find yourself telling, and appreciating dad jokes. But which are the best? Which Funny Dad Jokes For Kids are, like a steak, well done? What even makes a good dad joke? Corniness helps. And the snappier the joke the better. Which is what we had in mind when we put this ultimate list of the 50 best dad jokes ever crafted. But really, above anything else, it’s all about the attitude. An attitude that’s almost indescribable, but when you see it, you’ll know exactly what it is that makes something a good dad joke. It’ll be apparent.
Funny Dad Jokes For Kids
Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies!
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
Your head hits the ceiling!
Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
Take away her credit card!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
So he could hide in the crayon box!
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter!
Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?
Grapes are purple.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
“Here come the elephants!”
Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?
“Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them!
Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A little old lady?
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him!
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank!
Q: Why did the gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: It was framed!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide?
Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold!
Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
A: A clock!
Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A: A watch dog!
Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
A: The snow!
Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honeycombs!
Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant!